Unconditional Love - Part Two | hotmiddlescence.com

What is unconditional love.?

Is it real, or is it an ideal to aspire to?

Are we only able to love our children unconditionally?

"What do you mean, we shouldn't be on the table?"

I remember yearning to be a mother. I wanted to love and raise a child. Was this a desire to give unconditional love? Or was it a need that I expected loving a child would fulfill - conditional?

Is unconditional love active or passive? Is it a feeling we have, or is it something we do?

Can we only love those we know unconditionally, or is it possible to love everyone unconditionally as God does?

Is unconditional love, love regardless of what someone does, or is it a love that ignores what someone does? Can you love someone if he has tortured or killed?

Is unconditional love, love without expectation? Is it therefore unconditional love an abused woman feels for her abuser, or is that a desperate yearning to be loved and that yearning to be loved confused with love itself?

Are conditions in love really such a bad thing? I mean we all have values. Can we really love someone who’s moral values, for instance are completely different to our own? And should we?

At work I asked some men what unconditional love was. Interesting responses:

1. Unconditional love is love where you would sacrifice your life for someone

2. Love is a state of being that requires both people for it to occur, and when it is love that occurs, it just is unconditional.

3. Love without conditions!!!!

4. I had a ferret once. I really loved that ferret, but I hated what he did to rabbits, still loved the ferret though, that’s unconditional love.

5. It’s a load of crap, whether we realise it or not we all have conditions and expectations.

6. It depends on what your definition of love is.

What do you think?

Talon

If you take the term at it’s core meaning, there should be no conditions attached. And being human, we certainly do have expectations of others - be it a lover, a parent, a child, a friend. Maybe the term is an oxymoron. Maybe it’s something we like to believe exists, yet there is evidence to the contrary all the time. It’s something to think about for sure. I’ll be pondering this for a while.

Oct 07, 2009 @ 3:07 pm

Jen

I have to agree with man #5, even though it may not be the most optimistic opinion. Everyone has their boiling point, line that cannot be crossed, or tolerance level. What seems like unconditional love now may evolve into something else. (Still I always make a point of telling my children I love them after I lose my temper and yell at them! I’m inclined to forgive climbing on the coffee table.)

Oct 08, 2009 @ 1:52 am

Joanne

Very thought provoking question. Yes, I think we do have inherent conditions to some extent. But if, for instance, my children do not meet those conditions, I love them just the same. Does that make the love unconditional? I’m not sure …

Oct 08, 2009 @ 10:17 am

Eileen Williams

You have raised a profound and thoroughly thought provoking question, and it’s got me to pondering the larger aspects of my life. I think there is such a thing as unconditional love but, being human, we cannot always feel what the Greeks term agape.
Because we are all emotionally flawed, have our personal filters, and personal blind spots, the feeling of grace that is inherent to unconditional love often alludes us. We can feel anger, disappointment, annoyance and even rage toward our beloved. As uncomfortable and even horrible as those sentiments might be, I believe they’re part of the human condition. However, it is the capacity to return to love after such feelings that leads me to believe that “unconditional love” is real.
Looking at that photo of the two absolutely adorable children (yours I presume) just melted my heart. After seeing those faces, who could not believe in unconditional love?

Oct 10, 2009 @ 4:34 am

Lzyjo

I love commenting on wordpress blogs! No entering all those fields and security codes!! I think love is unconditional. People still feel love for people, even after they have broken up.

Oct 12, 2009 @ 2:42 am

Laura

Is unconditional love what you have for someone until you get to know him/her? Is that how you go past all of your sensors so that you can get to know someone and then conditional love sets in? Do we love unconditionally in theory, but not in practice? Is it something for the mind to entertain but not in actuality? What’s the point of unconditional love? If you hurt someone you’ll be excused? Sorry, I just have more questions. One last one: Do I want to be loved unconditionally? I’m not sure–don’t I want be held accountable for the things I do and say? Is unconditional love where excuses don’t matter? Is that something to desire?

Oct 12, 2009 @ 11:48 pm